mistres_melissa's Journal

Dreams
Where do your dreams end and reality begin? Why do some people live their dreams while others just dream? What is it that will cause some to step forward and take a chance, while others sit back in safety and continue to dream only to be left feeling empty? Why is it a dream to one and reality to another?

When opportunity knocks you have to be ready and willing to take the risk and embrace it. Will you always succeed? No. Look at many famous people of history; Thomas Edison for example failed 6000 times before he found the right filament for his light bulb. President Lincoln by many was considered a political failure before his presidency and now he’s regarded as one of our greatest presidents.

But before you make that leap, stop and think about what it is you really seek. What are your wants and what are your needs? Wants and needs are not the same. I need food, I want a new car. I need a dwelling, I want a mansion house. A dominant will supply your needs; they may not supply your wants. This is a very important distinction. Often times we confuse our wants with our needs. Sometimes, what we think we need is not really what we need after all. Some will confuse the need for a structured life with the want for BSDM play. That taste of being controlled during playtime gets confused with the kink and is not recognized as a need for structure in their daily life.

Then there is reality. Just because you saw it in a movie or read about it in some piece of fiction like “O”, your odds of living the fantasy are slim to none. In all truth could you actually, honestly live that way? Mentally and physically would you be able to live that way? While it might be fun to play at being a puppy, cat, or a cow, you pick an animal; we are human and have human needs. While I might allow you to role play at a party, I won’t allow you to live that way in my house. There is a fine line between humiliation, derogation and abuse. While it appeases my sadistic side to embarrass Phoenix from time to time, it would be irresponsible of my mentally harm her in some way. The other part of reality is if you wish to be a slave, research what it means to be a slave. Slaves are not just sex toys to be used in a manner that fulfills some dream you have of being in a harem. Slaves don’t have the right to pick and chose how they will be found useful. If I want you to scrub my toilet, then you will scrub the toilet. If I don’t wish to sexually use you for a year, then I will not. Slavery is about control, period, end of story. As the dominant, I have control and you as the slave, don’t. It really is that simple. You chose to submit and you can beg release. Between the two choices, it’s what I want, when I want it and how I want it. There is nothing in that about what you want, hence the name slavery. Choose wisely.

If after all your soul searching you decide slavery is the life for you and you need to pick a dominant. The right dominant for you is one that cares about you, but they won’t love you, hell you’re a slave. They have shown they can and do live the lifestyle and have the ability within them to own slaves. Truth be told, few people have that edge which allows them to treat you as property and thus control you as a slave. They should have a place to live; preferably they own their own home. They pay their bills on time and are responsible members of society. They have control of their own life. Yes, there is more to owning slaves than typing your name in capitol letters or deciding that since you had no luck as a subbie/slave you must really be a dominant. Leave all that nonsense on the playground of kink, known as the dungeon. If you can’t control our own life and emotions, you have no right trying to control someone else’s. Yes, temper tantrums in a dominant is a signal to run the other way. Do your research on the perspective dominant and then get off your tush and meet them. If when you meet them, you don’t feel anything dominant about them, they are not the one for you. You can’t feel someone’s dominance, their persona, their will, by typing to them on a computer. Any fool can repeat crap they read on the internet. When you have done all your home work, and you meet them for the first time, do your eyes just naturally lower, do you find yourself unable to look them in the eye, guess what! That’s your dominant. If suddenly you desire to serve that person and make them happy just because of the way they look at you. That’s the dominant for you, the rest is just details. Without that involuntary reaction of your soul, to their soul, you are just wasting your time. It does not involve years of “dating” to know someone can or will own your butt. It takes three simple steps. 1- Is the live of slavery what you really seek? 2-Are they a dominant? Someone who understands and holds themselves to the principles of being a dominant? 3- When you meet them do you sense “that’s a dominant” and a desire within you to be found pleasing? Slaves of old where bought off the block, at least you get to choose your owner. This is not a marriage, you are not looking for a spouse, if it takes more than a month to answer these three questions, then you are not yet ready.

Dream or reality it’s up to you. In the end, the difference between dreams and reality is ambition.

Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

Advertisement